Shadowlands

Those who know me well, as well as those who follow this blog, know my great admiration and respect for Pastor Wayne Cordeiro. He's one of the wisest men I've ever met, and his messages speak to me in ways that are unlike any other pastor (in fact, the only other pastor that has had that type of impact on me is this guy). So, I was reading his blog today, and he wrote a statement that just floored me. It wasn't something I'd never heard before, but it really ministered to me at a time when I've been quieting my heart before the Lord... away from the "lights" of ministry. Here's what he said:

"Who I am in the shadows, rather than in the floodlights, is what God really measures."

DANG!!

But it's so true... as leaders, we thrive in front of people. We live for that... and that's not wrong in itself. But when who we are in the shadows is different than when we're in the spotlight, we're in a dangerous place.

There's an old song I used to like alot called When the Music Stops... and I loved it, because - as I was then primarily leading worship - the lyrics spoke to me so powerfully:

When the music stops... that's when I live my song
When the band goes home... that's when I live my song
When we've said, "Amen," and the crowd begans to fade away
That's when I live the life that I sing about in my songs.

To God, the dark is the same as the light... nothing is hidden from Him (Heb 4:13). When we step into the shadows... when the lights are dimmed, and the crowd is gone... is He pleased by what He sees from our lives?

Starbucks... or OK Corral?

Things are HOT here in College Park, baby! And I think maybe the heat is taking it's toll in other ways too... here's a story about something that happened to me today:

So, I'm walking into Starbucks (what else is new?), and I take a seat while I'm finishing up a phone call... and this guy says to me, "Excuse me, can you take that call outside??" (Excuse me?) "I said, 'Can you take that call outside??" (Umm... I could, but I'll be finished in just a sec, thank you [with a very irritated smile])

So, then this guy looks me in my face, and starts to talk loudly about nothing in particular, trying to push my buttons... and talking much more loudly than I had been talking, mind you... so, I get off the phone, and I'm like, "DUDE, what IS your problem??"

"You're my problem! It's rude to come in here, talking on the phone when people are trying to work!" (Work? Are you kidding me?? With these loud students and even louder Starbucks music???)

So, I point out to him (from the Bible... sike) that 1) there's a HUGE difference between Starbucks and the public library, and 2) there was a way that he could've handled that situation a lot better... though at that point, I don't think I was being the best example, because I went on to let him know that some people would definitely handle themselves with him much differently than I did! I really wanted to punch him in the throat!!

Yeah... way to go, PASTOR Darren!

Question: Why is it so difficult to let some things go? Now, I definitely had a right to talk on my phone and ignore this guy who (in all honesty) was being just a bit anal. But sometimes it's not about rights, it's about wisdom. That doesn't mean I can't get clarification on the matter and understand just what the problem is... but it does mean that, no matter what, I must remember that I represent Christ... at all times.

So, I'm sitting there (after a few words have been exchanged... nothing terrible, don't worry), trying to think of five reasons why I shouldn't punch Anal Man in the throat... and the Holy Spirit (doesn't He knock at the wildest times?) says to me, "So, how's this going to end, PASTOR D?" So, I apologized to dude and let him know I was sorry if I was too loud on the phone... which started a discussion about whether or not I should have even been on the phone in the first place (we agreed to disagree there, but I was definitely eyeing that throat). And, eventually, he apologized for responding the way he did... and all was well in Starbucks again.

"By the way... my name is Darren."

"And my name is Ryan... good to meet you."

And that's how it ended. ;-)

(By the way... a young lady who was sitting close to us later commended me on how I handled the situation. She thought he was "rather rude and crazy")

On Criticism...

Wasn't going to post today, since I was busy with the boys (558 million words today!!!)... but I came across a great post on how we receive and respond to criticism by my friend BEN ARMENT that I think is a must read...

Some of you already regularly read his blog... but, if not, you can read this post here. Enjoy! ;-)

You Just Can't Quit!!

Sometimes things happen...
The ball doesn't bounce your way.
You're off you're "A-game."
You stumble...
and stumble...
and stumble again...
and stumble some more...
and - believe it or not - you STUMBLE AGAIN!
And then you FUMBLE!! :-)

What do you do?

You do what TONY ROMO did... you hang in there! You keep fighting... and fighting...and never give up! No matter what happens... YOU JUST CAN'T QUIT!

Because maybe... just maybe... you will find yourself in a position to win. It might only be with TWO SECONDS ON THE CLOCK... but when that ball sails through the uprights, you will say to yourself, "We did it...the long, hard struggle was worth it!" You just can't quit.

That's football.
That's leadership.
That's life.

Somebody reading this is about to throw in the towel...
But remember: It's not over!
The final gun hasn't sounded...
The last chapter has NOT been written...
there's still time to win...

YOU JUST CAN'T QUIT!

The Gospel According to Jameka, pt 2

I remember in college, one of my professors... in talking about how we study the Bible... was fond of saying, "Context, context, context... and the greatest of these... is context!" Last night, I posted about a statement made on Big Brother by one of the participants... and I want to be fair to her, because I didn't include the context of her conversation with her other housemate.

So, here's what happened: one of the housemates that was up for eviction (you have to watch the show to fully understand) had chosen Jameka to participate in the Power of Veto Competition. In this competition, whoever wins the POV can either veto one of the nominations for eviction... which means that person gets to stay in the house for at least another week... or keep the nominations the same. Jameka's belief is that everything happens for a reason, so goal was to win the POV and get Jen (who chose her to play) off the eviction block.

Jameka did win the POV, and refused to budge from her original stance of taking Jen off the block. During the competition, she passed on a trip to Jamaica... as well as $5,ooo cash. AND she was ridiculed for her commitment by some of her housemates.

All because she refused to go back on her word.

So, as she was talking with one of her housemates, she was explaining her position: yes, she could've been selfish and taken the money... but if she did that - thinking only of herself - she wouldn't have won the competition... and she would have let Jen down because she didn't keep her word. She said that she knows that God will take care of her, because she didn't just look out for herself... that selfish people get theirs in the end, because they didn't trust God to take care of them. And that was the context of her "God's like Gotti" statement... which is still a crazy word picture to me, but I can understand where she's coming from.

I have to give it to Jameka... she showed some serious character to pass on those luxuries. To Jameka, keeping her word meant everything... even if it was uncomfortable.

Hmmm... sounds like this passage (notice that last verse!!)

The Dream's Alive!

Well, whaddya know...

The dream's alive! Funny how, even when things look dim, God has a way of blowing our minds! After working through some miscommunication, I'll be headed up to South Haven next week after all!

SIDEBAR: Important Leadership Lesson - "Some dudes" have your back, even when it seems like they don't. ;-)

But... South Haven, here I come!

When I look back at the past 12 hours, I see that I had a choice of "life and death" before me. "Death" was getting bent out of shape, and losing my temper - because I couldn't for the LIFE of me (no pun intended) see why this had to be a closed door. "Life" was choosing God's way of humility and submission, and accepting - although I didn't understand - His answer. Had I chosen the anger route, which I really wanted to choose (I kept trying to fit this under "righteous indignation", but God wouldn't let me get away with it), I might have unnecesarily caused irreparable damage to some relationships. By choosing submission, when it came time for the issue to be pressed - for the envelope to be pushed - there was no tension to wade through and dialogue could take place in a God-honoring way.

Yes... there was a time when I would've ranted and raved, because of being treated "unfairly." But I'm learning that it always pays to remember this ... and this.

Somebody out there needs to take heed: "Chill... and be still."

Hmmm...

Well, well...

I seem to have ruffled a few feathers with Tuesday's post...

EVIDENTLY, some have a problem with the fact that I said that it was "evident" that the young man who killed all those people at VA Tech had never met Jesus.

Okay... one the one hand, you're correct: I didn't know the young man... and can't know for sure whether or not he was a believer. Someone even made the inference in their comment that because he was Korean, there was a good chance he was Christian (I tweaked that a bit, but read it for yourself...)

Now, I mean no disrespect - especially to any who may have known the young man personally - but the Bible has A WHOLE LOT to say about what constitutes what a Christ-follower does and does not look like. Here's a sampling:

Look here...

... and here...

Check this out...

... and finally...

Now, I could go on... but I won't... so, that's just a SNIPPET of what the Bible says about the matter. So, if you're upset, don't get mad at me - I didn't write the letter; I'm just carrying the mail...

Now, I will say this to all of you who ARE Christ-followers (I shared this with a friend earlier today): If you and I will get serious about being salty and well-lit Christ-followers (see this passage), we would do the kingdom of darkness some serious damage, and have more of an impact in the world...

And no one will have to WONDER whether or not we know Jesus...

Imus: Funny or Foolish?

Don Imus lost his syndicated radio talk show, because of racially-insensitive and basically rude remarks that he made regarding the Rutgers' Women's basketball team. MSNBC gave him the boot yesterday... you can read the full article here. Ok... so, I've heard alot of different thoughts on the matter: "

"He deserved to lose the show!"

"Well, he did say he was only joking..."

"Now, CBS should fire him!"

"Well, he did apologize to the team..."

"C'mon... the NAACP makes a big deal out of everything. If you just say, 'The sky is black,' you're in trouble with them!"

Ok, Darren... what's your take? Here's my take:

When you act foolishly, you deal with the consequences. Enough said... but I'll say more.

The issue isn't whether or not he was joking, or even whether he apologized or not... the issue is that he made a really asinine and stupid remark ABOUT AN ENTIRE RACIAL COMMUNITY, and he has alot of influence because of his position. Had it been a private comment, it still would've been wrong but he wouldn't have had the backlash. And Imus has been known to make really stupid and insensitive comments before, too.

Bottom line: it speaks to a bigger issue of what's really in his heart.

Check out what Jesus says about careless words here. Strong words...

Even Madea says, "When somebody shows you who they really are... believe them!" :-)

'Nuff said.

The Thrill of Victory

At last... after hearing for so long that they didn't have what it takes to win the big game, Indianapolis Colts Coach Tony Dungy and QB Peyton Manning defeated the Chicago Bears 29-17 in the most-watched sports event in our country, the Super Bowl. Both of these guys are class acts, and are the best in their business... but - even after posting tremendously impressive regular season records over the last few years - they've had their share of critics (I admit, I've been one) who've doubted that they could get to (much less win) The Show. But they proved all of their haters wrong tonight, and did it in impressive fashion.

Peyton Manning won the Most Valuable Player Award for his performance... and, of course, it is great to see an African-American head coach win the biggest game in American sports. But more than that, I believe the Lord Jesus has his own award for Coach Dungy... because he has exemplified superior character (even through some intense personal adversity) and has been a model Christ-follower for all to see over a long period of time... he's been watched, he's been ridiculed, he's been judged unfairly at times... but he's always responded well... and he's always given thanks to His Lord publicly for both his successes and losses. And he's also gained influence, as well... because even the Colt's owner, Jim Irsay, gave thanks tonight to God for watching over the team and bringing them this far!

"Allow your light to shine before men so that they will see your good works and give glory to your heavenly Father" (Matt. 5:16)

Forgiveness is Crazy!

Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy time seven!”

I have to admit… every time I read this, it sounds like the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s hard enough to forgive someone once, if the offense is bad enough. And Peter seems to be going above and beyond by offering forgiveness seven times… but Jesus says, “Nope… can’t stop there. Every time you’re offended… even if you lose count… you must offer forgiveness.” Whoa.

He then goes on to tell a story about a man who was in debt some millions of dollars to his employer (I mean, what kind of employer/employee relationship did they have?). He couldn’t afford to pay back the money, so his boss was going to have him – and his entire family – sold as slaves until the money could be repaid. But the man begged and pleaded with his boss... the boss had pity on him; then he released the man from his debt (wow… I might try that little crying routine to get released from my car note!)

So this guy turns around, and hems up his friend who owed him a couple hundred dollars (a lot of money in my book). His friends see what happened, and they tell “Boss Man” about it. The boss gets angry, calls in the man, and says, “You wicked man, you!! (my translation) I released you from that humongous debt of yours, because you cried like a little baby… and I took pity on you. And you have the audacity to go medieval on somebody else who owes you money???” So, Boss Man sent the guy to prison until his entire debt could be paid back.

Here’s the point of Jesus’ story: as sinful human beings, we have been forgiven much – if we’ve placed our trust in Jesus’ death and resurrection. We have sinned against a holy God, and we owed a debt that we could not repay; but, Jesus paid all of it for us by dying for us on the Cross. And even as we still often blow it and sin against God every day, Jesus’ words from the Cross still rings out, “Father, forgive them… for they don’t understand what they’re doing.” Yet, how often do we fail (better, refuse) to release the people in our lives for the things they do to us? And when we take the stance of non-forgiveness, it shows just how much we do not understand the Cross… or God’s grace. Because when we see ourselves for who we really are – and what we really deserve - we know that it’s only because of the grace and mercy of God that we’re no longer bound for an eternal hell.

“Seventy times seven,” Jesus says. “Stop counting offenses.” That’s a hard word… especially when the relationship is more than a casual one. But unconditional love doesn’t keep track of wrongs, does it? “Love is patient and kind… It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged” (1 Cor. 13:4-5). Crazy? Seems like it… but it’s the way of Jesus… and it must be the way of anyone who follows Him. No wonder He said, “If anyone wants to follow Me, he must… take up his cross…”

Crosses and forgiveness go together… you can’t have one without the other.

On Michael Richards...

So... mostly likely, we've all had the opportunity to see the video. We've all been repulsed at the racial hatred that spewed from the man's mouth. "Could this be KRAMER?" No, it's Michael Richards. "Kramer" is a figment of the imagination; a character from The Seinfeld Show that was created to make us laugh... Kramer made us laugh; his "creator", Michael Richards, didn't come close to doing that...

After the incident, Richards made an attempt (if you want to call it that) to apologize on national TV (The Letterman Show)... and, admittedly, I tried to somewhat defend Richards earlier, because he said he's not a racist... but the truth is: what a person is deep down inside eventually comes out... especially under pressure. If you shake up a bottle of Coke , and remove the top... Ginger Ale doesn't shoot out; Coke does. And, believe it or not, what's true for soda... is true for people. What is hovering around down inside of us will at some point in time fly out of our mouths. Because what the Bible says is true: "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34). Or, as The Message puts it, "It's your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words."

We all have to face up to what's inside of us. When we fly off on angry tirades just because we think we can - and we try to justify it ("She had that coming!" or "That's what he gets!"), we're just rationalizing sin. Here's the big question: HOW DO WE RESPOND WHEN WE'RE WRONGED? Usually, we respond according to how we feel at the moment (angry, hurt, upset), and we feel justified... because "what goes around comes around", right? I mean, if they hadn't said what they said, I wouldn't have responded how I did! Well, there's at least a couple of things wrong with that: 1) It's immature! Point blank... no need to even expound on that. 2) It's not pleasing to God, who says to "pray for those who persecute you" (Matt. 5:44), and "Do not take revenge" (Rom. 12:19).

We all have to fight the temptation to lash out when we feel we've been wronged... and for those of us who feel "justified" in doing so, Jesus leaves us with something to consider: "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned" (Matt. 12:36-37).

Until later,
PD

Another Fallen Leader

By now, you've all heard the news about Pastor Ted Haggard and his alleged moral failure... I've had several conversations about this entire issue, and I'm sure I'll continue to have them over the next several days. Unfortunately, the situation IS an opportunity for the enemy to wreak havoc in the Church (division, gossip, stone throwing), as well as with those who already have issues with us (right or wrong). Countless non-believers, no doubt, are sitting around shaking their heads, saying, "See... I TOLD you those Christians are no better than us!"

Well... they're right! We are no better than them, just better off in many ways because we have a personal relationship with God through His Son Jesus. However, that relationship doesn't give us license to sin... it should, instead, motivate us to desire to sin less. If not for God's grace, though, there go you and I... in the same situation (or worse) than Haggard.

But, you know what? I also think this "crisis" gives Christians everywhere an opportunity to intentionally live out our witness in front of the non-Christians that we know and have regular access to. "How?" you ask. Well, more than ever now, the world's eyes are on us... we can either meet the challenge and live incredible lives through the power of the Spirit so that they can see a dynamic, viable witness to the claims of Christ... or we can take the sin in our lives less than seriously, and wait for the world to see (publicly or privately) what's really going on inside us, and again find another reason to be turned off to Christianity. The choice is up to us.

Please continue to pray for Ted Haggard and the New Life Church family as they struggle through this time... pray for me, as well, as I'm no better than Ted or anybody else. I'm just as prone to temptation, and I have to work just as hard as the next person to stay pure. I'm totally capable of jacking up my life and ministry, if I don't stay plugged into Jesus!

No matter what leaders fall... or what chinks in our armor we receive from the battle, God's Kingdom will continue to grow... He will continue to build His Church... and the gates of hell will not prevail!

Pride Comes Before a Fall!

I was playing my son, Shawn, in a game of Uno this evening... best 2 out of 3. I told him before we got started, "Get ready for the worst whippin' of your life, boy!!" After he called out "Uno!" during Game 1, he said, "Get ready for the worst whippin' of your life!" and then he threw out his last card. I had called "Uno" about 5 minutes before, and all of a sudden ended up with about 20 more cards. Game 2 was much of the same... I got whupped again. He's turned into quite the Uno player for a 7-year old! He's watched Dad... now he whups Dad. He's glad; and that's sad. How bad! (sorry... my Dr. Seuss influence comes out from time to time...)

That's kinda how it is in the Christian life: our enemy, the Devil, watches us... he studies us. He doesn't know everything there is to know; he's not all-knowing and all-wise like our Father. So, he "takes notes" on us... allows us to get over-confident in ourselves and our ability to live out this Christ-life... and, when we least expect it - right when we thought we were doing so well - WHAM!! He nails us. "Uno!!" He's won again; we're not as good at this thing as we thought we were, are we?

I'm UNLEARNING the idea that I'm a strong Christian. I'm UNLEARNING the fact that I have "mad skillz" in this thing... I'm only as strong as I'm depending on the Father. Without Him, I'm nothing!

I can't even play a good game of Uno...

On Humility... Pt. 2

"At every stage of our Christian development and in every sphere of our Christian discipleship, pride is the greates enemy and humility our greatest friend." -- John Stott

On Humility...

"God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. So humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor." (1 Peter 5:5-6, NLT)

Just wanted to kick off some thoughts here... It's amazing to me the amount of pride I see among leaders in the church today - and it manifests itself in so many ways: control, territorialism, elitism, just to name a few. I haven't been doing the church plant thing for very long, but I know I'll be susceptible to those one day, as well. However, although I may not struggle with those areas, I have my own little "pride stash" that needs to be brought to the surface and done away with. My constant reminder to myself is that GOD HATES PRIDE. There it is. No "if's, and's, or but's" about it. He simply can't stand it. He opposes, or is strongly against (who wants God to be "strongly against" them??), the proud; however, He gives grace, or works on behalf of, those who are humble. And His admonition to us is to "humble ourselves." Notice that He doesn't tell us to pray for it - no, He says, "Just do it." Wow. There are alot of things that we cannot do on our own... God says that this isn't one of them. "Humble yourself."