That's What Friends Are For, Pt. 2

Received a couple of emails yesterday, concerning my "friends" post... so I just want to amplify a couple of things:

1) There is a difference between kicking a friendship to the curb, and being wise. "Kicking a friend to the curb" is more a situation where I don't like what he/she said to me, so I'm not speaking to them anymore. That's not a good thing. However, It might be a WISE THING for me to step back from the relationship for a bit, if the relationship is unhealthy. Proverbs 27:6 says, "Wounds from a friend can be trusted..." Sometimes a friend needs to say hard things in a loving way... one who is not a loyal friend will say hard (even mean or ugly) things, with no respect to the impact of their words. They might need to get the boot. :-)

2) We need to be intentional with creating an entourage. I need people (plural) around me who will encourage me, lovingly challenge me, and speak vision into me. This has to be an intentional process... it doesn't come by happenstance. But be careful - not everyone can be in your entourage... don't give just anyone access to the inner space of your life. When you give a person access to your inner space, you're really empowering then to speak into your life. And not everyone can handle, or be trusted with, that kind of power.

Here's the bottom line: We ALL need loyal friends we can count on, even when times are tough... no, especially when times are tough! "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (Prov. 17:17). Be intentional with putting together a group of these "loyal friends"... an entourage. Your life will be the better for it.

That's What Friends Are For

I'm sitting at my computer, and my eyes just fell on a school worksheet for my youngest son (in preschool)... it's entitled, "Loyal Friend: I'll always stick with you." It got me thinking, "You know, that's what a true friend is... someone who 'sticks with you', no matter what." We all need those kind of friends, don't we? I need those kind of friends... but they're really hard to come by. They're more difficult to find than a 4-leaf clover, really! But the truth is, we need loyal friends. Too many of us prefer to be lone rangers... and we're all too willing to kick relationships to the curb. And I believe with all my heart that that one day we'll wake up, and we'll realize the rare gem that friendship really is.

I was reminded Sunday night of just how important loyal friends are. I met with a long-time friend to try to talk through some issues we had recently... and the conversation definitely wasn't going the way I planned. In fact, at one point... after about two hours... we were both pretty much willing to throw our hands up in the air and say, "To sheol with you AND the friendship!" But something happened - I can't really explain what it was - and we both realized that the friendship is worth fighting for... there's no need to kick it to the curb! And I think we'll be even better friends because of our willingness to fight through the difficulties.

Listen: relationships are hard... they take work. Know that. If you can walk away from a friendship - and it doesn't bother you - then you're not a friend, plain and simple. At least, not a loyal one.

And relationships need to be cultivated. If you don't spend time with your friends, the relationships grow old... and stale... and crusty. :-) They don't get better through osmosis, but through a bone-deep commitment to one another... to "stick with" one another... no matter what.

Sunday night, my friend and I pushed through a "crusty", rough patch in our friendship, because of a bone-deep commitment that we have for each other... we both want the best for each other, and we know we have each other's back (we actually talked and encouraged each other for another couple of hours). Who do you consider to be a loyal friend? Who do you know (besides family), beyond the shadow of a doubt, that has your back? Kinda difficult, right? Well, consider this:

Who considers YOU to be a loyal friend, and know they can count on you in tough times?

Hmmmm...